Leaning up against the door of Bridesmaid’s practice space in Columbus, the sound and vibration of the room was almost overwhelming. Lights flickered as the two skulls hanging in the space stayed still.  Comprised of two drummers and two bass players, the band worked through a set list in preparation for a weekend show with metal brethren, Beggars and North Carolina’s Colossus. Before the earthquake simulation, courtesy of Bridesmaid, the band sat down with CincyMusic.com to discuss how far along they are on their new album and most importantly, stripper jokes.

CincyMusic.com: Let’s talk about the new record because there’s gonna be one, right? What’s the status of that, what’s going on?
Bridesmaid (Cory Barnt): It’s about ready to be mastered. 

CM: Do you have…
Bridesmaid (CB): It’s about ready to be mastered, guys.
(Collective Laughter) 
Bridesmaid (CB): It’s been a lot of going back and forth, but I’ll finish the mixes this weekend. 

CM: Where was it recorded? Was it recorded here?
Bridesmaid (Bob Brinkman): Sonic Lounge Studios. The release show is scheduled for September 24th at Spacebar and then we’re playing a fest in Louisville in early September so it’ll definitely be out by then. 

CM: Do you have the name of the record? Can you tell me?
Bridesmaid: We could..uh...well..no...uh..no. No? 

Bridesmaid (BB): Do we want her to break the story?
Bridesmaid (CB): I think it’d be better if we just did it all at once, I’m sorry. 

CM: It’s okay.
(Collective laughter) 
Bridesmaid (BB): Our buddy, Ralph, who does our artwork is doing an actual painting of our cover; it’s going to be completely ridiculous so we can do a logo and the painting and tie it all in at once. The actual tracking took what? Four days?
Bridesmaid (Boehm): I don’t mean to brag, but I only took like half an hour. 
Bridesmaid (BB): Yeah, but how long did it take you to correct the tracks, though? How long did Cory take?
(Collective laughter) 
Bridesmaid (Scott Hyatt): We should add those times up. 
Bridesmaid (CB): I’ve stopped keeping track.
Bridesmaid (Boehm): That’s not my fault.
Bridesmaid (BB): So the songs are a little bit older, so you would’ve heard them by now but there’s gonna be guest spots on the record and extra percussion in there. So we were done tracking in December. 

CM: Why two drummers?
Bridesmaid (SH): We decided to do the two drummer thing when Cory was leaving at one point and we were bringing our friend Ricky in, and we ended up loving it. And then when Cory moved on we…
Bridesmaid (Boehm): My stuff was already in the practice space.
(Laughter)
Bridesmaid (SH): And then Cory ended up moving back and Ricky left so it became the four of us.
Bridesmaid (BB): Ricky is really a solid dude, very nice guy...I wanted to start a rumor that he beats his girlfriend and we kicked him out because he was violent… 

CM: So he could be like, the Nick Oliveri of Bridesmaid.
(Laughter)

CM: He’s not even here to defend himself, poor guy.

A year or so ago, while on tour in Dallas and sitting in a children’s hospital due to an incident that broke drummer Boehm’s arm, bassist Bob Brinkman saw and snagged the perfect opportunity to tell stripper jokes to the chagrin of the patients in the waiting room. “What does a stripper do with their asshole before work?” Drops him off at band practice”.

Check out one of the most underrated metal bands to date this Wednesday for FREE at Northside Yacht Club with Temple and Rive. Don’t forget your earplugs!