Traveling in a van along the interstates to perform with your mates before you even have a driver's license; Touring in Japan as a senior in high school; Signing to a major label at 19 years old. One usually hopes to follow-up such a momentous list with a gold record or two on the wall. However, labels fold, albums get shelved and dreams get sidelined. Insert any cliché music industry cautionary tale here, because it likely applies to the start of Benjamin James Howard's career.

Instead of letting cynicism from early defeats break his spirit, Howard (previously only known and accredited as Benjamin James–without his last name–during his tenure with pop-punk outfit Bottom Line and his own subsequent electronic-alt-rock project Pluto Revolts) has only ever used it as fuel to his creative fire, focusing his motivations inward to appease himself above all.

Much like “Heavy,” Howard’s debut solo single released in 2021, “Ashamed” is an exercise in reconciling with the past, both in practice and concept. The song was written 17 autumns ago during a period of rapid change in his life, following the news that his first band Bottom Line’s major label debut was never going to see the light of day. “Ashamed” is about finding peace with who you’ve become and the experiences that led you to the place you’re at now. Therefore, in honoring the spirit of the song, Howard is dusting off the perceived “failure” behind the scenes that this song may have experienced to start. Howard’s aim with his forthcoming full-length album is to shed light on these previously-discarded ideas and finally honor the full breadth of his journey in songwriting.